New years day 2011 felt like such a bright new day for me. I am more of a glass half empty kind of girl but I had a strong feeling deep inside that this was going to be MY year. I felt really positive and excited about all the goals I was going to accomplish this year. I was so convinced my time had come that I had a smile on my face and a spring in my step.
But 2011 turned out to be the worst year I had had for decades. I will remember 2011 as the year of bad health.
It started in early February when the police phoned me at 2am in the morning to say my grandmother ( nan) had not been seen for approximately four days so they had broken down the door to find her on the floor in her bedroom in a bad condition. Once at the hospital the doctor said she would not last the day. There we sat watching for her last breath.
But after many worrying set backs my nan did pull through. But she was not able to recover fully. She spent six months in a wheel chair, confused, refusing to eat and unable to look after herself.
Due to my family being so dysfunctional I was appointed power of attorney over her affairs so had to make the difficult decision to place her in an elderly care home near me.
Family fall outs began because I had control of her finances. The stress and worry brought back some stomach ulcer problems I had previously had and I was put on some medication.
To fast forward to the present day my nan is now walking slowly with a frame and is eating again. She now seems to have short term memory loss but has began to have an interest in life again. I would never have thought she would be with us for Christmas.
The last day of May brought my new baby niece early. She was small and had breathing and eating problems and was put into intensive care. The first week the doctors had trouble identifying what was wrong. When I saw her with all her wires and feeding tube I feared she would never come out of the hospital. But she was and is a little fighter .
Today she is a healthy little girl who is spoilt by her two older sisters. Here is a before and after picture.
Other health problems has been my husbands grandparents taking turns collapsing through out the year. They are both stubborn and think they know better than the doctors.
The year ended with my three year old son being diagnosed with asthma. He is now on two inhalers and is managing well.
This past year I desperately wanted to accomplish so much writing but due to feeling depressed and stressed I found it difficult to even think straight most of the time. I remember half way through the year wishing the year away so I could start again. 2011 just seemed to have been one big black cloud.
Looking forward into 2012 I feel very wary of what it may bring. I really hope it will be a brighter and more positive year for me.
I have the usual goals of eating less chocolate, going to the gym more and spending quality time with my five year old daughter and three year old son.
But the one thing I dearly want to accomplish is to complete a novel that I am proud of and that is of good enough quality to be sent away to a publisher. I want to improve and succeed in my writing. To stay more committed to my writing. When I am not writing I feel frustrated, depressed, like my life has no purpose or meaning. Writing always makes my days seem brighter, energises me and makes me excited for the new day.
I must write.
